Thursday, June 5, 2014

Me vs. The Garbage Disposal

I believe I have blogged about me in the kitchen. It's not pretty and I should not even be allowed in there. It's a dangerous place for me. 
I've had many accidents that should not happen to an adult. The only time I'm truly accident prone is in the kitchen. I had big plans to be in the kitchen this summer. I have been a pinning maniac on my WW board. 
I started WW about a month ago & already am off the wagon. 
I jumped back on yesterday. That whole WW thing is a WHOLE other topic.
 We won't go there because I'm supposed to be talking about the garbage disposal.

So.....last Thursday I started feeling really sick. I had a super busy weekend & never caught up on my sleep. When that out! I get sick! So all day Sunday I was a whiny sick baby & then I had to go to work on Monday for my last teacher day...blah! I downed some DayQuil right before I left & two more times before I came home. I was literally the last teacher in the building. I was practically in tears because I felt so awful. I came home & chugged some NyQuil & passed out for a while. I woke myself up coughing & having to run to the bathroom every 5 minutes. Well, according to my husband I nearly overdosed myself with Acetaminophen. I really need to start reading directions. You can read and perhaps get a few giggles from some more examples of me NOT reading directions HERE. You're welcome for providing you with some entertainment. Obviously, I haven't had much conversation since school let out. I can't even get to the point! Here we go............
I told you earlier how sick I was, right??? Well, I drag myself out of bed on 2 pm....& take a shower & get all dressed & ready to go immediately to the minute clinic. I saw that I never cleaned up from dinner last night. You know the first day it hits my break "A" makes me be more responsible around the house & makes me pitch in....UM HELLO.... I'M SICK!
I decide to clean the kitchen up real quick before I go. I forgot I had thrown some chili in the garbage disposal the night before. After I ate some watermelon I threw the left over in the devil disposal. This happened.................
I am seriously lucky that I am not blind. I did have my glasses on...thank you GOD! The freaking devil disposal exploded and shot shit out like a freaking geyser...or a very strong fire hose...or a large plumbing main breaking in your face. face. It was scary. It all went so fast. All I know is I heard a very loud a gun shot and I looked up and there was food and water EVERYWHERE! E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E! It even managed to make it straight up my nose! My newly washed hair looked like the picture on the left. I am so not kidding. That is how strong the force of water was in my face! Picture me with those bangs and leftover chili & watermelon all over my clothes, shoes, bra, nose, hair, ears, etc. 

IMMEDIATELY....I am blaming my husband in my head. Thinking....son of a B****H WT* did he do to the disposal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I mention we are in the middle of a kitchen remodel???????????
We just had our cabinets painted less than a week ago!!!!! GRRRR. All I remember is "A" telling me we were not going to have that disposal anymore after we get the new sink. Um...ok. Whatevs. That part of the house really doesn't matter to me. If he was talking about my closet, I would have been concerned and listening.
Now mind you this is a very small part of the area that was covered. The entire window & blinds had stuff all over them. It was like I had a fight with the water hose in the house and sprayed it all over the window with watermelon & chili coming out of the hose....full blast. 

I really wish that I took more pictures. I actually ran upstairs to grab my phone so I had proof when I called the hubs. All I remember is flying passed a full length mirror & I was covered in food & water & my bangs were sticking straight up....I did pat them down before I went back down like I was going to run into someone or something. You can laugh now. I was actually giggling through my tears after I saw my bangs.

So this is just a part of the ceiling that was covered. 
So after over an hour clean up...I had to take ANOTHER shower & then I was off to the clinic only to find out I have bronchitis and the dr. did see remnants of watermelon up my nose....and this is after I blew my nose several times before I went. Just kill me. 
"A" is walking out the door this morning and says.........
 "Make sure you don't use the disposal, I think it's shot". Um........REALLY NOW? YA THINK????????????????? I thought it was supposed to regurgitate on me?


  1. OMG!! So sorry to hear your DEVIL disposal threw up everywhere...but you are right it is a funny story to share----now....after being a scary experience.
    -Lovely Nina

  2. Oh no!!!! That's awful, a silly story, but mostly awful! Cleaning up had to of been a b****! I'd love to think "A" helped out with that...but I'm going to assume that didn't happen. I'm glad you lived to tell the tale!
    Short and Sassy Teacher

  3. Mel, I am so sorry about your garbage disposal not giving you the respect you deserved, especially when you were sick. However, that being said, I laughed until I cried reading your story last night! I just love reading your stories! The crossed out and **** words just add to the hilarity! I have had a very long, rough year, and still have 6 days to go, so that was just what I needed last night! I hope that your new disposal is installed and working soon!

  4. Oh, Mel! Bless your heart!!! The "shot shit out like a freaking geyser" comment just made my day! ;) On a serious note, I hope the remodeling process goes quickly and smoothly for y'all. At least it's Friday!

    Prepping for the Primary Gridiron

  5. Oh My! You poor thing, and being sick on top of it all! Hope you are feeling better soon. You had me cracking up, partly because I could totally see this kind of thing happening to me, and your vivid depiction of how it happened painted the perfect picture. Hope that the rest of your kitchen remodel happens quickly with no more mishaps for you. It was a rough week for me and I needed a good laugh, thanks for sharing you misfortune to help others.

    Luv My Kinders

  6. I have ruined 5 disposals in 20 years of marriage- I understand your pain. Now I really don't use it at all. Why put things in it if the darn thing is just going to jam!!

  7. I was excited to just meet you today at the TpT conference, and get all your wonderful Pinterest tips, and I got back to my hotel room and decided to read your blog. I'm glad I did...I now have tears running down my face from laughing so hard! Thanks for the entertainment (and the wonderful tips today!)

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