Mrs. Bainbridge is hosting her first linky party! I just did my first one a few weeks ago & I know how it is to sit & wait for emails to see if someone?...anyone?...joined my party..lol. This is a fun one but I really have to think...I usually stop myself from being too much of a smarta** but sometimes my sarcastic ways get the best of me...I wonder where I get that from...Mom?!? From what I hear from my colleagues some of the funny ones are:
1. Don't be a space invader, SIT DOWN!
I bet you have those students that go head first into the back of you when you're walking & their following you. They are always at my feet, behind me, in front of me, touching me, poking me....I know this will all start again in 5 short weeks...insert sigh...
2. Hellloooooooooo? Sometimes I add.....Is anyone home????
This for when I am getting no response..I just gave directions for the 5th time & I get a blank stare. It kills me when I hear them say "Hellloooooo?" to each other! I just say to myself....whoopsie..lol.
3. Is your name, Mrs. Dillard? Ok then zip it!
This is for the teacher want-to-be that likes to tell me what I didn't do & what I did wrong.
4. Don't be a Krabby Patty....Go eat a Happy Meal!
This is what I tell the kiddos that are super tired & crabby when they get to school. They GIGGLE like crazy whenever I whip that out.
5. I think I"m going to call the nurse & get your hearing checked boys & girls because you are just not listening today!
I honestly had a student my first year of teaching...I did send him to get his hearing checked & he had 90% hearing loss & his parent's never even noticed....my response..."Helllooooooo?" Also when I had a conference this year about a student on DAY 3...yes DAY 3..... I told his parents I thought something was wrong with his hearing because there is no way that he just thinks he can do what he wants when he wants. Oh boy, was it a LONG YEAR with him! Future America's Most Wanted....I swear!
6. I must be speaking Spanish!
This is when I am at my wits end with a few students that just aren't listening. I must say this at least 5x a day!
7. Unless your on fire, bleeding, or have to vomit, DO NOT INTERRUPT ME.
This is for those special ones that just don't know how to stay seated. It never fails when I am speaking with another teacher or any adult they feel the need to tell me a story...right at that moment!
8. That's it! I'm changing my name!
This is when I have heard my name 500x by 9 am! Seriously, raise your hand little ones!
9. If I hear another tattle my head just might pop off!
Hopefully the Tattling Turtle journal will eliminate this first grade issue. I think I might just tally the tattles I get in a day & then blog about it..lol. It was so cute..you know how these little ones can be so literal..I had a little girl come up to me & say..."Ms. Alonzo (maiden name), "I need to tell you something but I don't want your head to pop off"...WHOOPSIE
10. What planet are you on?
I always giggle after I say this...it's so above their head but I know what I really mean....WAKE UP MCFLY!
Ok well my hubby is off to bed & screaming "Hellooooooo is my wife coming to bed or what?"