Ok so Mrs. Bainbridge inspired me with this Linky Party. As I was blogging about what I say, I kept thinking of what the kid's have said to me. I really do try to keep a journal to write things down as they happen, BUT, we all know with our little ones we can't always do that. In the past 8 years these are what made me LOL...all day!
1. This was in my first few years of teaching. In the first few weeks when we are going OVER and OVER the rules I ask one of my students....."WHAT ARE THE RULES??? " & he responds...GET READY...."Don't drop the cocktails". Really? I thought I was literally going to PEE MY PANTS! I later revealed this little tidbit with the parent's & as I watched them turn 3 shades of red...we all giggled.
2. The next one is during my first year of teaching...I taught Kindergarten. I had my very FIRST observation & the principal at the time used to teach first grade...oh how I miss him...he really understood what it's really like! Anyway, I read a story "It Looked Like Spilt Milk" I believe...& we talked about clouds. Then I proceeded to take them outside, with the principal watching, & I was asking each student what they saw in the clouds. Well, I had a student that had a severe speech impediment...of course the principal is right by me when i ask him..."Peyton, what do you see in the clouds?" Student response: "I see a titty tat Ms. Alonzo". Yeah we LOL!
3. The next one actually happened to my BFF at work. She just told me in the morning that she needed to get her "stash" waxed. Well, one of her comically gifted students was at her desk & says "Mrs. R I believe you are having some facial hair issues"....not kidding..direct quote!
4. I think the best time to find all about the parent's is during "Drug Awareness Week" Raise your hand if you agree! Well I was discussing alcohol one day & one of my little ones says "My Mommy says if my dad drinks one more beer he is going to turn into a keg"...seriously I thought I was going to lose it! Another one was when I was speaking about smoking & one of my lil darlings says "I walked outside & saw smoke coming off my Mommy's head & she told me her sweater was on fire but I think she was smoking". LOL!
5. FIXED! I had a student this year that apparently overheard Mom & Dad talking about a vasectomy. Well, after I read a book about pets & I started to talk about my lab Bentley.... the kids naturally started asking me questions.
Student: Ms. Alonzo, can Bentley have babies?
Me: No, Bentley can't have babies honey, he got fixed.
Blank stare on all faces......ME: Panic mode saying "whoopsie" to myself.
Student: Don't worry Ms. Alonzo my daddy got fixed up too! He can't have any more puppies either.
Seriously....why don't I ever have witnesses for this???
6. This next one is more of a "VISUAL" for you all. I can't even recall what I was teaching...it really doesn't matter because we all know when it comes to their mind..they must tell! Here is goes...
Student raises their hand..I call on them....
Student: "Ms. Alonzo, last night when I walked in my parent's bedroom....
Me: "Stop right there!"
Student: "Ms. Alonzo, this has to do with what were talking about"
Me: "Ok continue"
Student: Well, when I walked into my parent's room last night my mommy said she was pretending to ride a horse but I think she was actually wrestling with my dad.
Me: In shock...Johnny that has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with what we are talking about!
Student: Ms. Alonzo, weren't you JUST talking about horses?
SERIOUSLY! IF THE PARENTS ONLY KNEW! OMG I WOULD DIE!
PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO LINK BACK TO ME SO ALL OF YOUR FOLLOWERS KNOW WHERE TO GO IF THEY WANT TO JOIN THE PARTAAAAY! GRAB MY BUTTON!
Now it's your turn to share your stories...I know I'll think of a TON more after the fact!